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教育孩子的三件事:亲子关系、习惯培养、正确学习!

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信息来源:未知    /    发布时间:2018-07-21 15:47     /    浏览人数:

CC国际彩球官网 第一件事:培养良好的亲子关系
 
好的关系胜过许多教育。父母什么时候与孩子关系好,对孩子的教育就容易成功;什么时候与孩子关系不好,对孩子的教育就容易失败。而建立良好的亲子关系,其关键在于“定位”:
1、不当“法官”,学做“律师”
 
 
 
有些父母看到孩子出了问题,便迫不及待地当起了“法官”,这是很危险的。
 
 
 
孩子的内心世界丰富多彩,父母要积极地影响与教育孩子,不了解其内心世界便无从谈起。而了解孩子的第一要诀是呵护其自尊,维护其权利,成为其信赖和尊敬的朋友。
 
 
 
即父母对待孩子,要像“律师”对待自己的当事人一样,了解其内心需求,并始终以维护其合法权利为惟一宗旨。
 
 
 
2、不当“裁判”,学做“拉拉队”
 
 
 
在人生竞技场,孩子只能自己去努力。父母既无法替代孩子,也不该自作主张去当“裁判”,而应该给予孩子一种保持良好竞技状态的力量,即“拉拉队”的力量。这样更能帮助孩子建立自信心,而这正是家庭教育的核心任务。
 
 
 
父母做孩子的“拉拉队”,既要善于发现和赞美孩子,还要引导孩子正确面对失败,在挫折前做孩子的战友。
 
 
 
3、不当“驯兽师”,学做“镜子”
 
 
 
孩子只有认识自己才能战胜自己,但他们通常只能依据他人的反馈来认识自己,这时父母的“反馈”作用即镜子的作用就很重要了。
 
 
 
不做“驯兽师”,学做“镜子”,才能帮助孩子提高自我意识,才能让孩子不害怕父母的“权威”,转而和父母沟通。
 
 
 
教育是三分教,七分等。“等一等”是很有用的。比如我们被蚊子叮一下,不管它,很快就会没事,若总去挠,却要很长时间才能好。原因就是人体有一定的自我治愈功能,被蚊子叮一下自己很快就会好,施加外力只会适得其反。
 
 
 
教育也是这个道理。停下来,等一等,给孩子倾诉的机会,和孩子有效地沟通,不用教育就能解决问题。
 
第二件事:培养孩子的良好习惯
 
习惯决定孩子的命运,再也没有什么比习惯养成更重要了。父母如果不注重培养孩子的良好习惯,无疑是在葬送孩子美好的未来。
 
1、一切从习惯培养开始
 
 
 
养成教育是管一辈子的教育。智育是良好的思维习惯,德育是细小的行为习惯,素质教育更加体现在人的细小的行为上。
 
 
 
大量事实证明,习惯是一种顽强的力量,可以主宰人的一生。孩子的一切都从习惯培养开始。
 
 
 
2、习惯养成绝非一日之功
 
 
 
习惯是个大问题,是大智慧。良好习惯的养成绝非一日之功,其主要原则是:低起点,严要求,小步子,快节奏,多活动,求变化,快反馈,勤矫正。
 
 
 
习惯养成关键在头三天,决定在一个月。父母要充分尊重孩子的权利,让孩子在习惯养成中发挥主人作用。
 
 
 
3、通过习惯培养铸造品格
 
 
 
教育犹如海上行船,必须按正确的航线行驶,否则,船越大越有触礁沉没的危险。
 
 
 
人的品质,决定了人的发展方向。家庭教育的一个核心任务就是培养孩子成为一个真正的人。但人格的培养问题通常很难落实到具体操作上来。
 
 
 
不过,研究者发现,习惯与人格相辅相成,习惯影响人格,人格更会影响习惯。正派、诚实、责任心、爱心、合作精神、讲究效率等品格都可以通过习惯培养来铸造。
 
 
 
第三件事:引导孩子学会学习
 
第三件事:吸引孩子热爱学习、引导孩子学会学习是父母的一项重要职责,也是父母的真正魅力所在。
 
1、孩子厌学是有原因的
 
 
 
放任不管,任其潇洒;乱管瞎管,种瓜得豆;唠叨数落,肆意打骂;代替包办,制造“机器”……父母若采取如此种种不明智的做法,只会使孩子越来越不爱学习。
 
 
 
孩子不爱学习只是表面现象,背后一定有原因:是没有养成良好的学习习惯?是没有找到孩子最擅长的方面?是没有科学用脑?是父母阻碍了孩子的“玩中学”的天性?是孩子没有意识到学习是他自己的事情…… 找到背后的原因,才可能帮助孩子走出厌学的阴影。
 
 
 
2、孩子的求知欲和学习潜能是可以激发的
 
 
 
孩子缺乏求知欲,通常不是父母的影响或者严格要求不够,而是阻塞了孩子的兴趣。
 
 
 
兴趣(好奇心)、梦想、成就感、质疑、感恩、发奋、发愤等都是疏通和启发孩子求知欲的通道。而对于孩子来说,所谓竞争优势就是潜能得到有效的开发而已。心情、开窍、暗示、遐想、激励、计划是激发孩子学习潜能的六大原则。
 
 
 
3、孩子考第一是有方法的
 
 
 
“爱学”是“会学”的前提,而“会学”是“爱学”的保证,“会学”才能“学好”。
 
 
 
孩子要想考第一,必须要掌握一些具有决定性作用的好方法,如:按计划完成、认真写字、慢慢看课本、整理错题、随手笔记、无私帮助同学、高效率考试、自由自在地作文等。
 
 
 
现在很多父母在教育孩子的问题上步入了一个新的误区,即盲信盲从甚至痴迷于所谓成功教子的家教经验,但这些经验听着容易,做起来难。因为它们没有“可迁移性”,如果只是一味的克隆、模仿,不但不能落实到自己孩子的身上,反而容易“邯郸学步”,适得其反。
 
 
 
最有用的真东西是需要静下心来思考、提炼的。教育孩子并没有父母想像的那样复杂,抓好了亲子关系、习惯培养、学习这三件大事,父母成为杰出的父母,孩子成为杰出的孩子,就都不是遥远的梦幻了。


The first thing: to develop a good relationship between parents and children
A good relationship is better than a lot of education. When parents have good relationship with their children, their education is easy to succeed; when they are not well connected with their children, their education for their children is easy to fail. The key to establishing a good parent-child relationship lies in "positioning":
1. Improper "judge", learn to be a "lawyer"
Some parents can't wait to become "judges" when they see their children having problems, which is very dangerous.
Children's inner world is rich and colorful, and parents have to actively influence and educate their children without knowing their inner world. The first secret of understanding children is to care for their self-esteem, safeguard their rights and become their trusted and respected friends.
That is to say, parents treat their children like "lawyers" to their own parties, understand their inner needs, and always uphold their legitimate rights as the sole purpose.
2. Improper "referee", learn to be a "cheerleader"
n the arena of life, children can only work hard by themselves. Parents can neither substitute for children nor act as "referees", but should give their children a power to maintain a good state of competition, the strength of the "cheerleaders". This helps children build self-confidence, which is the core task of family education.
Parents' children's cheerleaders should be good at discovering and praising their children, and guiding their children to face failure correctly and be their children's comrades before the setbacks.
3. Improper "animal trainer", learn to be a "mirror"
Children can only overcome themselves by knowing themselves, but they usually know themselves only according to the feedback of others, when the role of the parents' feedback, the mirror, is very important.
Not to do "animal trainers", learn to do "mirrors", to help children improve their self-awareness, to let the child not afraid of the "authority" of their parents, and to communicate with their parents.
Education is three points, seven grades. "Wait a first class" is very useful. For example, if we are bitten by mosquitoes, no matter what happens, it will soon be fine. If we try to scratch, it will take a long time. The reason is that the human body has a certain function of self healing. If a mosquito bites itself, it will soon be fine, and exerting external force will only backfire.
Education is the same. Stop, wait a minute, talk to your child, communicate effectively with your child, and solve problems without education.
The second thing: nurturing a child's good habits
Habit determines children's fate. Nothing is more important than habit forming. If parents do not pay attention to training children's good habits, they will undoubtedly ruin their children's bright future.
1. Everything starts from the habit of cultivation
Nurturance education is a lifelong education. Intellectual education is a good habit of thinking, moral education is a small habit of behavior, quality education is more reflected in the human behavior.
A large number of facts have proved that habit is a kind of dogged force that can dominate a person's whole life. Everything in the child begins with the habit of cultivation.
2. Habit forming is not a single day
Habit is a big problem, it is great wisdom. The cultivation of good habits is not a single day, the main principles are: low starting point, strict requirements, small steps, fast pace, more activities, change, quick feedback, and diligent correction.
The key to habit formation is in the first three days. Parents should fully respect their children's rights and let their children play a masters role in habit formation.
3. Cultivate casting character through habit
Education is like sailing on the sea. It must be driven on the right track. Otherwise, the bigger the ship, the more dangerous it is to sink.
The quality of people determines the direction of human development. A core task of family education is to train children to become a real person. But the training of personality is often difficult to implement.
However, researchers found that habit and personality complement each other, habits affect personality, and personality influences habits. Integrity, honesty, responsibility, love, cooperation spirit and efficiency can be cast through habit training.
The third thing: guide the child to learn to learn
The third thing: attracting children to love learning and guiding children to learn is an important duty of their parents, and also the real charm of their parents.
1. There is a reason for a child to be weary of learning
Let alone no matter what it is, let it be natural and unrestrained; meddling in disorder and planting beans; nagging, wantonly beating and scolding; instead of contracting out, making machines. If parents adopt such unwise practices, they will only make children less and less fond of learning.
Children do not love learning is only a superficial phenomenon, there must be a reason behind it: do not develop good learning habits? Is it not to find out what the child is best at? Is there no scientific use of the brain? Is it the parents' hindrance to children's "playing high school" nature? It is a child who does not realize that learning is his own business. Finding the reason behind it can help children get out of the shadow of weariness.
2, children's thirst for knowledge and learning potential can be stimulated.
Children lack intellectual curiosity, usually not the influence of parents or strict demands, but blocking children's interests.
Interest (Hao Qixin), dreams, achievement, questioning, gratitude, strenuous, and anger are all ways to dredge and inspire children's thirst for knowledge. For children, the so-called competitive advantage is the effective development of potential. Mood, enlightenment, hint, daydream, motivation and plan are six principles to stimulate children's learning potential.
3. There is a way for the children to take the first test
"Love learning" is the premise of "learning".




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